Interviewing agencies has taken a while. We looked locally and nationally. Between the two of us, we went to 5 information or interview sessions. Information is key to decision making. PA is considered a high risk state as even after consent is signed the birth mother has 30 days to change her mind. Also birth father laws are a little tricky.
This was the best description of PA law I found:
So, although we considered a local adoption, we don't think it's for us. We moved on to a National Agency with offices all over the country. I got a referral from a good friend and talked to them about their experience. By the way, I did this for almost every agency we went to see.
Here's what we thought:
- We like them.
- They are thorough.
- Their site is amazing and full of information.
- Their application process is extensive and your profile is of extreme importance.
- You get to name your price in a way, although of course the more you put in the less you'll wait in the feeling you get.
- There are over 230 families waiting at any one time.
- The birth mother picks you.
- There is little hand holding and probably won't hear from anyone after you are "live" on their site for a long while.
- They cover you financially if the adoption is interrupted....i.e. miscarriage, mother changes her mind
- A 2 year wait is typical.
- For extra money you can request a gender but in general, they say it delays the process.
Our second agency came to us from a very reliable source....Rich's mom. Her old teaching friends daughter adopted 2 boys from an agency run by a private attorney in Florida. Florida is one of the best states in the country for adoptive parents.
Read about the laws here:
The birth mother can sign consent after 48hours of the child's birth and it is irrevocable. The birth father laws are interesting as there is a Paternal registry and if the birth father goes not register in a timely manner, his rights are terminated as well. Of course there is A LOT more to it and lots of different scenarios depending on your situation.
After speaking with mom's friends daughter, we thought it'd be worth the trip down to Florida to see this agency and speak with their attorney. We left our son at home with the fam, and flew down for a long weekend. Woo hoo! Haven't had a weekend alone in let's say......2.5 yrs coincidentally!!
Had a nice time and met up with a old friend of Rich's dads. They live right at the beach and it was nice to meet/see them.
We met with the attorney on our last day and here's what we thought:
- Experienced.
- Honest. Overly honest.
- Aggressive (which is a + here)
- Gave details about the types of birth parents and how he connects with them.
- Does the visits with birth mother himself or has his son do it who is the other attorney in the practice. Birth mom's get familiar with both of them equally.
- He gives them what he promises.
- Perhaps a bit more costly but explained where every cent goes
- Wait time for a match a year he told us but from actual experience less than that (we hope!)
- Explained the entire court proceedings and legalities in detail.
- Biggest negative here is that if we have a interrupted adoption that we are NOT covered. We lose whatever money we have put in.
- We also would have to stay in FL about 5-6 business days to finish up paperwork. Not so bad ;)
- No gender requests.
So there you have it. We are deciding. In the meantime we can't do anything without our home study, so that is priority #1 right now.
If you have an opinion. Please feel free to share! Love to see comments :)
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